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    "parsed_content": "Send questions about the office, money, careers and work-life balance to workfriend@nytimes.com. Include your name and location, or a request to remain anonymous. Letters may be edited.The Case of the Missing BossMy manager (who is in charge of a team of six) doesn\u2019t work. Of the three days she\u2019s supposed to be in the office, she has an excuse to \u201cbe remote\u201d at least two or three of those days. But when she\u2019s remote, she\u2019s not online working. She only makes an appearance in the office two to five days a month!The days she does come in, she\u2019s late or leaves early, or both. Excuses have ranged from having \u201ctired kids, gonna let them sleep\u201d to \u201ctraffic, commute too long today.\u201d There have been a myriad medical ailments, family issues and drama, days where she is taking kids to the park or beach, falling on ice, getting hit by a car. She cites midday appointments and sleeping through alarms. I wait for her messages to show up around 9 a.m. each day. I have been keeping track for two years and have 22 PAGES of excuses (in 10-point font).She does this all while flying under the radar of the higher-ups and shows her face when they are around. The rest of the team carries the workload and shows up on the regular. I tried having a conversation with H.R. and they were not helpful. She needs to get fired! How can I report this behavior without jeopardizing my own job?\u2014 AnonymousI wonder how much this has to do with Covid. Which is to say: I wonder how much Covid-era work policies so accustomed your manager to remote work that she can\u2019t seem to get back into the swing of things.This is the case for a lot of people. Not that it is an excuse; but it might help explain why she\u2019s not coming into the office with any regularity. (If I were to create a list of reasons I could wield in order to avoid the office, medical issues, traffic, and alarms would definitely be included. Also: \u201cFalling on ice\u201d made me laugh.)But there are other possibilities, and a few things I\u2019m confused about.1. The higher-ups. You say that your manager\u2019s absences are not apparent to her superiors because she\u2019s usually visible (meaning: in the office) when they\u2019re around. Are the higher-ups also not in the office very often? Could it be that she\u2019s taking a page from their example? And why are you so sure that they\u2019re unaware of her absenteeism?2. \u201cThey were not helpful,\u201d doesn\u2019t tell me what, exactly, you said to the H.R. department, and what evidence \u2014 if any \u2014 you wielded to buttress your argument. Did you provide examples of the extra work that you and your colleagues have had to engage in? The most compelling argument you can make is to explain \u2014 and, if possible, show \u2014 the ways in which you and your colleagues are taking on additional duties. (Don\u2019t show H.R. the list you made of your manager\u2019s excuses. It comes across as obsessive.)As for the other possibilities: It\u2019s quite likely that it\u2019s you who doesn\u2019t know the whole story. Maybe there are no performance issues. Maybe her children need a lot of care. (Kids do have a lot of appointments and medical emergencies.)Or maybe your manager is going through a tough time, and her frequent absences aren\u2019t indicative of laziness or inertia but inability and incapacity. Do you have any sense that she\u2019s been struggling? People with mental health challenges like depression and anxiety can find \u201cregular\u201d life overwhelming, even paralyzing, and your manager may be battling a situation you\u2019re not even aware of.This also may be why the H.R. department is not, as you say, being \u201chelpful.\u201d Human resources administrators often possess information that others do not, and in this case, they may not only know the reasons for your manager\u2019s frequent absences, but feel willing or compelled to accommodate them.This may not be fair to you or your co-workers in terms of workload \u2014 and two years of this seems like a long time, I admit. So this is what I suggest you do: Go back to H.R. with your concerns and try to get some sense as to why the department isn\u2019t able, or willing, to take action. (Don\u2019t be surprised if you get little or no answer in return.) That\u2019s about all you can do. In the end, even though it\u2019s obvious it\u2019s driving you crazy, you may just have to grimace and bear it. Or find another job.Meetings Run AmokI started my job in late 2024 as an assistant, primarily to support with scheduling, meeting notes and administrative tasks. My boss saw potential in me and began assigning higher-level projects. This is work I enjoy and want more of, but it\u2019s come without adjustments to my original workload.We\u2019re a three-person team, and since I joined, my boss has taken on major new initiatives and delegated most of the execution to me. Now I\u2019m managing complex projects and handling every calendar request, expense, shared inboxes and every off-site event (we sometimes have multiple per week).I\u2019ve raised concerns about bandwidth, and while my boss expresses empathy, she immediately follows up with more tasks. On the way out of a meeting that ends at 4:45 p.m., she will ask me to complete five new tasks before I leave for the day.Speaking of meetings, usually two full days a week are consumed by them. My boss schedules meetings for every small request and frequently multitasks during them. She G-Chats with people, and goes through her email. As a result she asks those in meetings to repeat themselves. It feels disrespectful, especially given my workload, but I\u2019m unsure how to bring this up in a way that will lead to real change.I like the work, and opportunities in this field are rare, but I\u2019m concerned that the poor management isn\u2019t going to improve. Any advice about a boss whose solution to bandwidth problems is calling more unproductive meetings?\u2014 AnonymousThere are at least two things going on here.1. You\u2019re being asked to do too much work.2. Your workplace has a toxic meeting culture.My advice: Have a conversation (yes, another) with your boss about your bandwidth issues. Is there someone else that some of your tasks can be delegated to? I suggest you first put it in writing, outlining your concerns about the specific tasks that you\u2019re expected to take on that make it harder for you to do the more challenging (and rewarding) parts of your work. Then ask if you can have an in-person conversation about it.You might want to approach the situation by reiterating your interest in and excitement for your job, and the additional opportunities you\u2019ve been given. Then you can express your concern that continuing to handle \u201colder\u201d tasks is getting in the way of you moving forward in your career with the company. Communicate that you want to grow professionally and to move past the sort of work that you initially started out doing. Then suggest some ways the two of you can work together to make that happen.As for the unproductive meetings, unfortunately, this is not really an issue you can bring up with your boss, at least not easily, and probably not without making her defensive.My advice is to ask her if you might occasionally skip a meeting because of tasks that need tending before the end of the workday. This may subtly communicate that not all meetings are created equal \u2014 meaning that you\u2019d appreciate the opportunity to miss a few in order to make sure the work you\u2019re doing is done well \u2014 and that you have boundaries for when your workday needs to end.Good luck!Anna Holmes is the Work Friend columnist for The Times. She is a writer and editor and the founder of the website Jezebel.A version of this article appears in print on Aug. 10, 2025, Section BU, Page 3 of the New York edition with the headline: Avoiding Office Duties, Excuse by Excuse. Order Reprints | Today\u2019s Paper | SubscribeShare full articleRelated ContentAdvertisementSKIP ADVERTISEMENT",
    "ai_headline": "Avoiding Office Duties, Excuse by Excuse",
    "ai_simplified_title": "Work Friend Answers Workplace Dilemmas August 2025",
    "ai_excerpt": "The article addresses two workplace dilemmas: a manager frequently absent from the office and an assistant overwhelmed by tasks and unproductive meetings. The Work Friend columnist offers advice on how to navigate these issues.",
    "ai_subject_tags": [
        "Workplace Advice",
        "Management",
        "Absenteeism",
        "Meetings",
        "Work-Life Balance",
        "Human Resources",
        "Career Development"
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    "ai_context_details": {
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        "perspective": "advice-giving",
        "audience": "general",
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