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    "original_url": "https:\/\/www.nytimes.com\/2026\/02\/13\/magazine\/gisele-pelicot-france-rape-case-story.html?campaign_id=9&emc=edit_nn_20260216&instance_id=171166&nl=the-morning&regi_id=122976029&segment_id=215349&user_id=b25c5730c89e0c73f75709d8f1254337",
    "parsed_content": "The Interview\u2018They All Tried to Break Me\u2019: Gis\u00e8le Pelicot Shares Her StoryCredit...Philip Gay for The New York TimesThe Interview\u2018They All Tried to Break Me\u2019: Gis\u00e8le Pelicot Shares Her StoryCredit...Philip Gay for The New York TimesSupported bySKIP ADVERTISEMENTShare full articleBy Lulu Garcia-NavarroFeb. 13, 2026Leer en espa\u00f1olIt is one of the most heinous sexual-abuse stories in history. Gis\u00e8le Pelicot was drugged and raped repeatedly by the person she trusted most in the world \u2014 her husband, Dominique Pelicot \u2014 who also invited dozens of men into their bedroom to rape Pelicot while she was heavily sedated.The abuse started in 2011, but Pelicot did not learn of it until 2020, after Dominique was caught secretly filming up women\u2019s skirts at a supermarket near their home in southeastern France. After the police arrested him, they discovered videos and photographs of his wife being assaulted by at least 70 men \u2014 assaults that Dominique had recorded and saved.Four years later, a trial of Pelicot\u2019s abusers began. Even then, we might never have known Gis\u00e8le Pelicot\u2019s name. But in her new memoir, \u201cA Hymn to Life: Shame Has to Change Sides,\u201d which will be published on Feb. 17, Pelicot explains why she decided to forgo anonymity and make the 2024 trial public. That choice made her a feminist icon, inspiring women all over France to rally around her and to demand change to France\u2019s consent laws.Still, Pelicot has remained in many ways an enigma. Outside of the trial, she never sat down to tell her story. But over a nearly three-hour interview last month in Paris \u2014 her first to be published with an American media outlet \u2014 Pelicot gave a candid and emotional account of the early years of her marriage; the toll that the abuse, and then the trial, took on her; the fallout for her family; and how, despite everything she has been through and the many questions that linger, she has found love and some peace in her life again.AdvertisementSKIP ADVERTISEMENTPelicot spoke French during our conversation, so her answers here have been translated into English.VideoWatch: Gis\u00e8le Pelicot on the Rape Trial That Shocked the WorldIn her first interview with an American media outlet, Gis\u00e8le Pelicot opened up about surviving years of secret abuse and deciding to go public with her story.Subscribe: Apple Podcasts | Spotify | YouTube | Amazon | iHeartThis is the first time that people will hear from you in your own words. How are you feeling sitting down and discussing this in a public way? When I wrote this book, I wanted it to be useful. It also allowed me to look inward, to take stock of my life and try to rebuild from the ruins. When you hear the facts of the trial, you see this woman and wonder, How is she still standing? I needed to convey that I\u2019m still a woman who stands tall.Before we talk further, how would you like me to refer to your ex-husband? Monsieur Pelicot.I\u2019d like to start by talking about the period before you knew what was being done to you. You had retired to the southeast of France, to a town called Mazan. What kind of person were you then? I retired at just over 60 years old. I had always worked, raised my children and had a very active life. And I thought I would have a happy retirement with Monsieur Pelicot. The Mazan house was a place where we could have friends and the children over during the holidays. We always called it the house of happiness. We weren\u2019t far from Mont Ventoux in Les Baux-de-Provence. We had the cicadas, the olive trees, the sun. We also had a swimming pool. As soon as the grandchildren arrived at the house, they would put down their things and jump in. I enjoyed watching them grow up. I was living a fulfilling, happy life. Of course, like all couples, we had difficult times. Life is not always smooth sailing. But I had this joie de vivre with Monsieur Pelicot. All our friends and family liked him. He was always ready to help, athletic. I only knew a kind and caring man. Which is terrifying.A lot of the book seems to be an attempt to understand whom you actually married. Can you describe how you and Monsieur Pelicot met and who he was when you first discovered each other? I met Monsieur Pelicot in July of 1971, so we were two 19-year-old kids. When I met him, he was this shy boy, always blushing, and his family life was a bit more complicated than mine. His father was a tyrant, very authoritarian, and he had to give his parents every penny that he made. When he was younger, he was raped in the hospital, and then when he was 14, he was forced to watch a gang rape at a construction site. He never went to therapy, and his family didn\u2019t help him either.AdvertisementSKIP ADVERTISEMENTWe decided to marry really young. My father disapproved. He had remarried, and my stepmother wasn\u2019t very nice, and my only desire was to run away and live a happy life. And that\u2019s what actually happened. We moved to the Paris suburbs. We didn\u2019t have much at first, but we were in love. We both wanted to start a family. They say love stories don\u2019t end well, and mine ended badly 50 years down the road. But still, I hold onto the good moments from that life.As far as we know, Monsieur Pelicot seems to have started abusing you in 2011. But in 2013, when you retired to Mazan, things accelerated. This is when you started experiencing unexplained memory losses. Can you tell me about those blackouts? The first time, the episode in 2011, I have no memory of it. It came back to me later, in front of the investigating judge, when I learned that my first rape took place on July 23, 2011. I remember waking up in the night, and I realized that something was wrong with Monsieur Pelicot, because I said to him: \u201cWhat are you doing? Leave me alone.\u201d And since I was sedated \u2014 not enough for him, though; I think he was already starting to experiment with the doses he was giving me \u2014 I went back to sleep and woke up very late the next day, around 6 p.m. I asked, \u201cHow come you didn\u2019t wake me up?\u201d And he said, \u201cYou were tired, I let you sleep.\u201d I was a little intrigued that I could sleep so long.ImageA march in support of Gis\u00e8le Pelicot in Mazan, France, in October 2024. She retired to Mazan in 2013 with her husband, Dominique Pelicot.Credit...Dmitry Kostyukov for The New York TimesThat episode stuck in the back of my mind. I didn\u2019t think about it again, but when the same thing happened in September 2013 \u2014 except this time I didn\u2019t wake up during the night; I realized the next day, when I put on the pants I had worn the night before and there were stains on them, like bleach spots \u2014 I thought it was strange. What had I done? I couldn\u2019t remember the night before, and I asked Monsieur Pelicot about it. He was in the garden at the time, and I said to him, \u201cDoum\u00e9\u201d \u2014 my nickname for him \u2014 \u201cyou\u2019re not drugging me, are you?\u201d It was as if I were asking him what he wanted to eat or if we were going for a walk that afternoon. In other words, my subconscious asked the question, but as if I were joking.And then, to my great surprise, he cried. He said to me: \u201cDo you realize what you\u2019re saying to me? What are you making me out to be?\u201d His response completely threw me off balance, and it was me who ended up apologizing for thinking such a thing. I said: \u201cI\u2019m sorry, I apologize. I don\u2019t know why I asked you that.\u201d And after that, I never mentioned it to him again. My subconscious had detected something, but I buried it.AdvertisementSKIP ADVERTISEMENTIt was striking to me, reading your book, how dependent and isolated you were. You were no longer working. Your children didn\u2019t live nearby. You didn\u2019t drive because you were having increasingly frequent blackouts, which you were worried about. Monsieur Pelicot took you to the doctor to make sure he could oversee what treatment you were getting. How was he behaving toward you during this time? I always thought that this man would protect me. When I started having these lapses, I told him about it, of course. I told him, \u201cI need to see a doctor, because I think I have something serious.\u201d And he said, \u201cI\u2019m sure there\u2019s nothing wrong with you, you\u2019re going to worry your children for nothing.\u201d I told him that I wanted to know for sure.The first time he took me to the neurologist, he had made the appointment and came with me, because I was afraid of the diagnosis. I\u2019ll always remember the neurologist\u2019s attitude. I told him I was very worried because I couldn\u2019t remember the previous day \u2014 watching a movie, brushing my teeth, everyday things I did just before going to bed. He had me do some clinical tests, like standing on one leg to see if my balance was still good. And once I sat back down, he said: \u201cI think you had a ministroke. It can happen once in a lifetime. So don\u2019t worry, it\u2019s absolutely nothing.\u201d So I leave with Monsieur Pelicot. And in the car, he says to me, \u201cSee, I told you, there\u2019s nothing wrong with you.\u201dFine, but the blackouts continue. So I made another appointment with another neurologist. She said to my children, \u201cYou\u2019re going to have to prepare yourselves, because I think your mother has all the early signs of Alzheimer\u2019s disease.\u201d What was I supposed to do with this? I felt doomed. I kept thinking of my mother, who died very young. I was preparing for the end. I thought I had very little time left to live.Monsieur Pelicot even accompanied me to the gynecologist, because I had gynecological problems. Many people have asked, \u201cHow could she not have known?\u201d But that\u2019s the reality. I trusted him so much that I couldn\u2019t imagine that this man was manipulating me. He always said I was the love of his life. How can you treat the love of your life that way? It\u2019s unthinkable.Let\u2019s talk about when you learn what has really been happening. In 2020, Monsieur Pelicot tells you that he has been caught filming up women\u2019s skirts at a local supermarket. Were you shocked? When Monsieur Pelicot revealed to me what he had done in the Carpentras supermarket, I found it hard to believe because he had never done anything underhanded to me. In 50 years, I had never seen anything. He was not a man who made jokes about women or behaved inappropriately toward them.AdvertisementSKIP ADVERTISEMENTI said to him, \u201cWhat got into you?\u201d He said, \u201cYou weren\u2019t there, and I had an impulse.\u201d Because he had never done anything like that before, I told him: \u201cI\u2019ll help you, you need to get help, you need to see someone, because you can\u2019t go on like this. You\u2019re going to apologize to those women, because they need reparation.\u201d I told him: \u201cFor now, I\u2019m forgiving you, but I\u2019m warning you, there won\u2019t be a next time. Next time, I\u2019ll leave.\u201d And he replied: \u201cDon\u2019t worry, I\u2019ve learned my lesson. I won\u2019t do it again.\u201dI believed him, and that\u2019s what\u2019s terrifying for me to think about even today. How could he look me in the eye and talk to me like that? Like that last breakfast, the day I found out the truth. We had our breakfast as if nothing had happened.ImageCredit...Philip Gay for The New York TimesThat last breakfast was two months from the time that he told you he had been caught filming, because it took that long for the police to call you both into the station. This is when you learn what actually had been happening to you. I know this is an incredibly painful moment, but could you take me into it? When they sit you down, what do they tell you, and what do you see? I thought we were going to talk about the two photos he took in the store in Carpentras. Monsieur Pelicot went in first. I was called in maybe half an hour later, and when I go up to the first floor to meet Lieutenant Perret, I arrive at his office and expect to find Monsieur Pelicot there. But Monsieur Pelicot isn\u2019t there. I think to myself, Maybe that\u2019s normal. He wants to know if Monsieur Pelicot really told me the whole truth. So I sit down, and since it was during Covid, we\u2019re wearing masks. We\u2019re sitting a little farther apart, he tells me to take off my mask, and he starts to ask me questions: my first and last name, my parents\u2019 ages. I admit that I started to wonder, Why all these questions?Then the questions became more and more specific: Can you describe your husband? So I said, Yes, of course: a good man, attentive, caring. We\u2019ve been together for 50 years, I\u2019ve never had a problem with Monsieur Pelicot, except for this incident. And then he starts to change the tone of the interrogation and asks me if I practice swinging with Monsieur Pelicot. At that point, I start to wonder, What is he getting at, why is he asking me this question? And I say to him: \u201cListen, of course not. At my age? I\u2019m a modest woman. And besides, the idea of another man touching me is unthinkable.\u201d And then I see his face start to change.AdvertisementSKIP ADVERTISEMENTHe has a pile of files next to his desk. He says to me, \u201cMadame Pelicot, what I\u2019m about to tell you is not going to please you.\u201d I\u2019m really starting to worry, my heart is racing. I say to him, \u201cWhat\u2019s going on?\u201d He says, \u201cSee the pile over there,\u201d and he starts to open a folder to show me a photo. He says, \u201cDo you recognize yourself in this photo?\u201d And of course I didn\u2019t recognize myself, because I was with a man I didn\u2019t know, who was raping me. I said, \u201cI don\u2019t know this man.\u201d And I thought to myself, That\u2019s not me. He shows me a second photo, which is pretty much the same, and he says, \u201cThat\u2019s you there.\u201d I say no, and he says: \u201cThis is your room, Madame Pelicot, these are your bedside lamps. We searched your home, these are your belongings.\u201dAt that point, my brain went into dissociation. He wanted to show me videos. I said, \u201cNo, I can\u2019t anymore, I can\u2019t.\u201d And he told me: \u201cYour husband is in police custody, he won\u2019t be leaving with you. You need to know that you have been raped many times. We have arrested 53 individuals,\u201d and I will later learn that there are 20 or 30 who have not been arrested. He tells me that I have been raped about 200 times. I say, \u201cBut that\u2019s not possible.\u201d And then I ask for a glass of water because I can\u2019t talk anymore.They had a psychologist there, they had planned everything. All I want to do is go home, because everything they\u2019ve told me isn\u2019t possible, it\u2019s not true. I\u2019m in another world, basically. So the psychologist arrives, she talks to me, but I can\u2019t hear her. Lieutenant Perret takes me home with one of his colleagues, and when I got home, he said to me, \u201cCall a friend, don\u2019t stay here alone, because you\u2019re in danger.\u201d They knew that not everyone had been arrested. So I called a friend. But I still didn\u2019t believe it. It was like a bad joke. Not denial, but total disbelief. My friend arrives, and when she sits down in the living room and asks what\u2019s going on, I tell her: \u201cDominique has been arrested. He\u2019s in custody because he raped me and had me raped.\u201d I think that\u2019s the first time that I said the word. It took me almost five hours to absorb it, but I said the word \u201crape\u201d to my friend at that moment.It is unimaginable: This man that you had been married to for 50 years, suddenly you get this information. What was it like to see that unconscious version of yourself? Devastating. I\u2019m a rag doll. It\u2019s as if I\u2019ve come out of surgery, because I\u2019m completely anesthetized. These men, when you see what they\u2019re doing to me \u2014 how is it possible that my body couldn\u2019t feel anything? So it\u2019s true that it really was anesthesia. Fortunately for me, I have no memories, because I think I would have killed myself afterward. I couldn\u2019t have survived that. I told myself that it wasn\u2019t me. It was me, but it wasn\u2019t. Monsieur Pelicot had disguised me. I looked like a sack of potatoes. I had no soul, nothing. That woman wasn\u2019t me. That\u2019s probably what saved me, telling myself that.You write that \u201ca wave of shame swelled up inside me\u201d after this revelation. Can you talk me through why you felt shame at that moment? I think all victims feel this shame. You feel dirty, you feel degraded. There\u2019s nothing human about it. I spent hours in the shower trying to wash away this filth, this dirt that makes you feel dehumanized.AdvertisementSKIP ADVERTISEMENTFor those who didn\u2019t follow the trial, I just want to give a few examples of the scale of the abuse that you learned about in the months that followed this police station visit. Is that OK? [She nods.]Monsieur Pelicot was finding men online to rape you while you were heavily drugged. He would meticulously film those encounters. This was happening constantly: after your children came for dinner, while you were on vacation. There\u2019s one moment you describe in the book when a crown came loose in your mouth. You write that it was because of \u201cthe violence of penises being repeatedly forced into my slack mouth.\u201d When that crown started to move, I was eating breakfast, and Monsieur Pelicot was in front of me. Because of Covid, we can\u2019t see the dentist. And I can\u2019t get it out. But I know it\u2019s going to fall off, and I\u2019m afraid I might swallow it. And I ask Monsieur Pelicot, \u201cCould you help?\u201d He went to get some gauze to remove the crown, and I think to myself, How could it have given way? The day before, it wasn\u2019t loose. And he says to me, \u201cYou must have bitten down on something.\u201dWhen I discovered the videos showing the violence these men inflicted on me, in my limp mouth \u2014 they have to hold my head because my face is falling, I have no muscle tone \u2014 and Monsieur Pelicot doesn\u2019t even react. There is no empathy, no pity for this woman who is there, completely dead in her bed. It was incredibly violent to tell myself that even that, they didn\u2019t spare me. [She starts to cry.]I\u2019m sorry. It\u2019s OK.Do you want to take a moment? No, it\u2019s OK.I\u2019m sorry for what happened to you. It\u2019s very important that people know. It\u2019s shocking, I know.ImagePelicot beside her daughter, Caroline Darian (second from left), and her sons Florian Pelicot (left) and David Pelicot, at the courthouse in Avignon, France.Credit...Christophe Simon\/Agence France-Presse, via Getty ImagesIt\u2019s shocking. As you\u2019re processing this, you learned that the police have also found pictures of your daughters-in-law in the shower, and of your daughter, Caroline, asleep in underwear that she says she doesn\u2019t recognize. And all three of your children are having to deal with what their father has done. Caroline ends up having a breakdown, she ends up being hospitalized. It must have been so difficult to balance being a victim yourself and having to be a mother of adult children in need. Suffering doesn\u2019t necessarily bring a family together. You need to understand, it\u2019s like an explosion that blows everything away. We try to recover, each in our own way and in our own time. It\u2019s true that what Caroline went through is extremely painful. I\u2019m deeply moved by her suffering, because this lingering doubt is an inescapable hell. There are no answers. There are those two photos of her asleep that open up a lot of questions. But I don\u2019t have any answers, and Monsieur Pelicot didn\u2019t give her any answers either.AdvertisementSKIP ADVERTISEMENTI hope one day he feels remorse and finds it in himself to talk to his daughter. I know she\u2019s in a lot of pain. I spoke to her this morning. We talk on the phone almost every day now. She\u2019s suffering, and for a mother, that\u2019s really hard. She\u2019s 47 years old now. What she wants is to be recognized as a victim, because today, she\u2019s not officially a victim. He has been condemned for taking all these images, but he was never condemned for what he did to Caroline.It strikes me that, when earlier you were talking about how happy you were, and what a family person you were, how proud you were of being a parent and a grandparent, to have your family pulled apart in this way must have been very painful. It\u2019s true that most of my life revolved around my family. All those memories, what can we do with them now? Because you can\u2019t rewind your life.In the book, you write about how you have struggled to reconcile your happy memories with the knowledge you have now about who Monsieur Pelicot was. You write: \u201cIf the last 50 years of my life were taken away from me, it would be as if I had never existed. I would be dead.\u201d That\u2019s a very complicated idea. Can you explain how you\u2019ve tried to work through that? It might seem strange, but it\u2019s a lot like grieving. You grieve for the life you had. I couldn\u2019t erase all the good memories, because otherwise, I\u2019d lose everything, and my existence would be void. So I held on to those good memories. It\u2019s like sorting your laundry: You separate clean and dirty clothes. I set the dirty laundry aside and kept everything that was clean.Listen to the Conversation With Gis\u00e8le PelicotThe woman at the center of the French rape trial that shocked the world shares her story.Listen \u00b7 1 hr 3 minAdvertisementSKIP ADVERTISEMENTIn France, victims of sexual violence have the right to have their identity protected during a trial. But you made an extraordinarily brave decision to waive your anonymity, allowing an open proceeding. Can you take me into that decision? How did you realize that this was something you wanted the world to see? It took me four years to make this decision. I wanted a closed trial, I didn\u2019t want people to know who I was, I wanted this trial to be just the assailants and their lawyers. And one day, my daughter told me: \u201cMom, you\u2019re doing them a huge favor. Think about it.\u201d And it took four years, but one day I went on a walk by myself, and I realized she was right. When we carry this shame with us, it adds insult to injury, like being sentenced twice, because you keep inflicting that pain on yourself. Fighting that shame on an individual level, rejecting it for myself, also meant working for the collective.I knew I had made the right call when, on Sept. 2, I walked into this hearing room with those 51 defendants and their 45 lawyers. The journalists were already in the room, but they knew they would have to walk out soon. No one expected what was about to happen. When the presiding judge said, \u201cLadies and gentlemen from the press, this is a closed hearing, please see yourselves out,\u201d my lawyers stood up and said, \u201cYour Honor, our client waives her right to a closed trial.\u201d And then, I saw the way the defense was looking at me. They were staring, like, She dared to do this! The defendants were staring too, defiant, with something in their eyes. It\u2019s dreadful for the victim. I told myself, \u201cHang in there, my dear, you\u2019re going all the way.\u201d And I held on, but they made me pay for it. They called me an accomplice, they said I was a woman who had consented, I was suspected. They tried to persuade the court that: \u201cIf she\u2019s here, she must be responsible for what happened. Our clients are not guilty of what they did.\u201d I can assure you that I didn\u2019t flinch, not once. Until the very end, I held on. It takes guts. You have to be strong.What was it like to see all those men in the courtroom, day after day? The first time I walked into that courtroom, I discovered their faces, because I didn\u2019t know them. I had never met them, because I was always \u2014 I don\u2019t like the word \u201casleep\u201d; I was anesthetized, unconscious. And when I discovered their faces, ages 22 to 70 years old, it was really unbelievable to think, Those people came into my bedroom to rape me.They were saying it hadn\u2019t been rape. To them, it was the husband had consented, he had said, \u201cYou can come in.\u201d They had logged onto a website, Coco.fr, in a chat room called \u201cWithout Her Knowledge.\u201d They knew exactly what they were on trial for, but they had a way of discounting their guilt. They saw themselves, almost, as innocent.This was tough for me, facing their gaze. Once, one of the accused kept staring at me, wanting to force me to look down. But then I just kept staring back until he lowered his eyes. He finally understood that I wouldn\u2019t give in. They all tried to break me. Their lawyers were asking questions to destabilize me, humiliate me. That\u2019s when I started to raise my voice, to put an end to this masquerade.AdvertisementSKIP ADVERTISEMENTImageA courtroom sketch of Pelicot giving testimony during the trial.Credit...Sipa, via Associated PressFortunately, I was lucky to have all this evidence: the pictures, the videos. Every time, they were asked, \u201cDid you receive Madame Pelicot\u2019s consent?\u201d Obviously, most of them didn\u2019t even know what that meant. They said, \u201cWell \u2026 no.\u201d \u201cDid you rape Madame Pelicot?\u201d They said, \u201cUh, no.\u201d So, they were shown the videos. They were saying that Monsieur Pelicot had been pressuring them, that they were terrified of him, but when you look at the videos, there\u2019s no trace of Monsieur Pelicot being violent. There is violence, sure, but they were the ones perpetrating it. Real violence, monstrosity, even.They were in such denial that even after seeing the videos, when asked again, \u201cDid you rape Madame Pelicot?\u201d they still say no. It\u2019s just unbelievable. And their wives came to testify, too, saying: \u201cOf course not. My husband, my boyfriend would never do that.\u201d I think I could have been one of those women, if the roles had been reversed. There was even a mother who was my age. She came to testify, talking about her \u201cbaby boy,\u201d even though he was 45. That was another outlandish thing to hear: \u201cMy baby boy would be incapable of raping this woman.\u201d She didn\u2019t even look at me. This also was shocking and violent for me, because I wasn\u2019t recognized. If her boy had raped me, then I must have been OK with it. That\u2019s what she meant, basically.You mentioned the role of the videos. Up until right before the trial, you had never watched them. It\u2019s inconceivable to have to sit and watch that happen to you. But as you note, without those videos, you wouldn\u2019t have had the proof to show these men were lying, and you probably wouldn\u2019t have been believed. How do you think about that? When I decided I didn\u2019t want a closed trial, my lawyers told me, \u201cCareful, you refused to see them before, but now, you\u2019ll have to watch.\u201d I didn\u2019t feel ready. I thought it would be very difficult for me. At some point, one of my lawyers said, \u201cNow you do have to watch them.\u201dSo we picked a day for me to lock myself in my office, and I watched them via videoconference. They asked me if I was ready. Obviously, you can never be ready to watch this kind of video. I thought, You said no to a closed trial, so you have to go through with this. My lawyer told me nicely, \u201cWhenever you\u2019re ready, Gis\u00e8le.\u201d He started the first video. I think he actually started with one of the hardest to watch. Watching this is truly unbearable. You\u2019re thinking, How is it even possible you\u2019re seeing this? And you see the violence of these individuals. They\u2019re animals. And you\u2019re this disjointed, unconscious body, without a soul, with nothing left in it.AdvertisementSKIP ADVERTISEMENTI didn\u2019t watch all of them, as it would have taken a considerable amount of time. I don\u2019t know how many of them there were \u2014 several of them per individual. I watched many of them. Each time, people asked me if I was all right. I was just taking it. It was like a boxer rolling with the punches. You fall and you get back up.Once we were done, I needed to go for a walk. And that\u2019s when my tears started streaming, and I thought, How could the man I shared my life with, the father of my children, have let these people come in? Because he knew what this was. That\u2019s when you think: What was going on in his head? How could he not feel compassion at some point?When I came back from my walk, I told my friend, \u201cListen, let\u2019s talk about something else.\u201d My brain had recorded it, but I put it in a corner of my mind. I thought, All right, we\u2019ll be able to use them as evidence, because not all victims have this evidence. And we showed them at the trial, because they were denying it. But I didn\u2019t watch them then. I looked at my phone, at pictures of the beach, of Mont Ventoux. That was my escape as they were watching me. What deeply shocked me, and it\u2019s unbelievable to think about this, is that I could hear myself snore in the videos, because of how sedated I was. There was nothing left of me.All of them were found guilty. That was a victory for me. I put myself in the shoes of other victims who are subjected to the same things. Because I don\u2019t have any memory of it, this helped me put myself back together. But for victims who do have memories of what happened, can you imagine what goes through their head when they\u2019re told that their case is closed without further action because of a lack of evidence? Because it\u2019s one person\u2019s word against another\u2019s. It\u2019s important to underline that. It must be really hard for these victims to put themselves back together.One of the things that most people noticed about you during the trial was how collected you were \u2014 how well you dressed, how elegant you were. You write in the book that you had no choice but to be invincible. That feels like a heavy burden. I\u2019ve always been elegant in my life because I\u2019ve always been working. I think this comes from my parents. One of the lawyers for the defense asked one of my lawyers, \u201cHow come she\u2019s always so elegant when she comes in in the morning?\u201d And the more people said it to me, the more I took time to be elegant. It was also a way for me to prop up this tortured body. It was a way of saying, \u201cYou will not affect me.\u201d That was the strength I had within me. When I woke up in the morning, I put on some music and asked myself, \u201cWhat am I going to wear today?\u201d Just to annoy them. [Laughs]AdvertisementSKIP ADVERTISEMENTImagePelicot at the courthouse following the trial\u2019s verdict in December 2024.Credit...Manon Cruz\/ReutersOne of the most moving things at the trial was the women that came to support you. Every day they were clapping, chanting. And you were getting all these letters. What were people saying to you? I think this trial echoed their suffering. They recognized themselves, and my trial was also a way of doing them justice. At first I decided to be there for only two weeks, but then, because I saw them every morning when I came in, I felt a responsibility to see it through. They would come early, it was raining, it was cold, and I could see those women waiting for the courthouse to open its doors. It touched me deeply. Their presence outside the building softened what was happening for me inside the courtroom, and I thanked them for it.I received thousands of letters from all over the world, which also surprised me. Not all of those women were victims, of course, but there was a lot of suffering in the letters. They thanked me for talking about it, because now they were no longer afraid to do it as well. I got so many messages from women telling me: \u201cThanks to you, I\u2019m going to file a complaint. And it won\u2019t be a closed-court trial.\u201d Some even told me, \u201cI\u2019m going to divorce, I\u2019m going to leave my husband.\u201d That was also surprising. I think entire generations of women have been muzzled, and this trial enabled these women to talk openly.In the end, Monsieur Pelicot was sentenced to 20 years in prison, the maximum. All the others received varying sentences. Was justice served? For me, it was. The sentence doesn\u2019t matter. Monsieur Pelicot was sentenced to 20 years. He was the ringleader of this whole masquerade, this sordid affair. As for the others, what mattered to me was that they had been found guilty, which is why I did not contest their sentences. My children were shocked by the sentences some of them received.Not all the men in the videos have been identified. Some of them are still out there. That must be hard for you. I try not to think too much about it. Sometimes, when I cross paths with a man, I think, What if \u2026 ? In Avignon, I met a man who paid for my meal. I had gone to pay my bill. I was lunching with my lawyers before heading back to the courtroom in the afternoon. And they told me, \u201cYour meal has been paid for.\u201d I said, \u201cNo, that\u2019s not possible.\u201d They said, \u201cYes, by the man over there.\u201d I went to thank him and asked him where he lived. He lived not far from Mazan. Once we had finished talking, I said to my lawyers, \u201cWhat if he is one of my rapists who wasn\u2019t arrested?\u201d Of course I thought about it. I no longer do, or at least less often. I\u2019m not paranoid. But I could cross paths with one of these men who knows me even though I don\u2019t know him. I sometimes think about that. But then I quickly try to stop.AdvertisementSKIP ADVERTISEMENTGod, that\u2019s so hard. One of the things, as you note, that came out at the trial is real shock over how many men in a small village could be rapists. One was even your neighbor. And Mazan is not unique. There\u2019s nothing special about it. What can we understand from that? I don\u2019t think my story is an isolated case. I\u2019ve learned about stories that are similar to mine. Not long ago, I learned about a case, I think it was in Germany, where a man raped his wife for 15 years. He \u201coffered\u201d her to other men. This says a lot about men\u2019s behavior, but we should not think all men would do this. That\u2019s another important point to note. Because if we start saying all men are rapists, that\u2019s going to become a real problem. What I really believe is that we need to educate our children at a very early age. I don\u2019t know what kind of education these men received. Most had extremely hard journeys through life; some were raped themselves. But having suffered as a child doesn\u2019t mean you should repeat the same pattern.Monsieur Pelicot is now under investigation for two earlier crimes, including one from 1999, in which he is accused of attempting to rape a young woman using ether. The crime was a cold case until his arrest, and he eventually confessed to the assault after DNA evidence linked him to it. How did that change your understanding of who he was and the crimes against you? Because it seems that this behavior was going on for longer than even the police had realized. I learned about this case in November 2022, two years after I discovered the horror I had been subjected to. The day I got this call from the investigative team in Nanterre, I didn\u2019t even understand what they were talking about, because I was completely tangled up in my own story. I said, \u201cYes, I know about Monsieur Pelicot\u2019s case.\u201d The investigator on the phone told me: \u201cWe\u2019re not talking about the same case. We\u2019re talking about a case that took place in \u201999 in Paris.\u201d Good thing I was sitting, because I think I would have collapsed on the floor. It was as if a bomb had gone off for a second time.I asked myself, \u201cHow did I not notice any signs?\u201d He must have come home that evening, because he always came home in the evening. We must have sat down at the dinner table with the children. I most likely cooked him a meal. And that evening, he behaved as if nothing had happened. Even the children didn\u2019t notice anything. We didn\u2019t notice that he wasn\u2019t in a good mood. I didn\u2019t notice stains on his suit. I didn\u2019t notice any scratches, because I think this young woman most likely fought back. Once again, he managed to put up a wall. He showed us one of his two faces: a considerate, caring man. But we didn\u2019t see the other face. He was actually Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde.He is also currently being investigated for the rape and murder of another woman in the early 1990s, which he denies. I still hope today that he is not the author of this crime. For now, he is presumed innocent. But I really hope that this family will get the truth. I don\u2019t know how her mother can keep enduring this today. If he\u2019s guilty, we\u2019ll have no choice but to accept it, of course, and it will be another hellish journey for his children and for me.ImageSeveral thousand people staging a demonstration in support of Pelicot and all victims of rape at the Place de la R\u00e9publique in Paris on Sept. 14, 2024.Credit...Mohamad Salaheldin Abdelg Alsayed\/Anadolu, via Getty ImagesAdvertisementSKIP ADVERTISEMENTI want to touch again on the effect on your family, which we talked about earlier. There was a moment Caroline wasn\u2019t speaking to you because she felt that you didn\u2019t support her fully, and now that relationship seems to have been repaired. Can you talk to me a little bit about some of the challenges that you\u2019ve faced with your daughter? As my case started to evolve, the investigating judge didn\u2019t push the investigation concerning Caroline, because I think there were so many defendants in my case, and there was all this evidence showing these rapes. For Caroline, there were two pictures that raised questions. There was indeed the father\u2019s incestuous gaze on his daughter. I never denied it. But I tried to tell Caroline: \u201cYou know, maybe \u2026\u201d Because I didn\u2019t want her to suffer. Because while I was trying to have this shell, my daughter has a different character. I think she\u2019s more fragile than I am. And I didn\u2019t want her to plunge into this pain. So it\u2019s true, I might have inadequately supported her at first.She was angry at me because of it, which is entirely reasonable. But I didn\u2019t abandon her; I tried to alleviate her suffering. I don\u2019t think she saw it that way. And that\u2019s why she put some distance between us. I think she felt I wasn\u2019t trying to understand what she was going through. It\u2019s not that I wasn\u2019t trying to understand. I was trying to lift her toward the light, because I didn\u2019t want her to fall apart. I never gave myself permission to fall apart in front of my children. But she had a right to fall apart. Especially as he\u2019s her father. She was extremely close to her father.As time went by, I also put some distance between us. Maybe this was a way to protect myself, because her hatred and anger is something I had trouble carrying. By putting some distance, I thought, That way she\u2019ll be able to heal, to find peace. Yet as of now, she still hasn\u2019t.I underwent surgery toward the end of November, and at Christmas, she called to ask how I was doing. I got a sense that she had a need for me to be closer to her. That\u2019s what\u2019s happening now. I\u2019m being very careful, because there\u2019s still a lot of hatred and anger toward her father, but she realized I wasn\u2019t the one responsible for it. I think she might have conflated her father and me. So now I think she\u2019s thinking, My mother is not responsible for any of it.Have you seen each other? No, not yet. But she\u2019s sent me videos of my grandson playing rugby. I got a call from her just this morning. I think we\u2019ll be seeing each other.AdvertisementSKIP ADVERTISEMENTAt the end of the book, you say you want to go and speak to Monsieur Pelicot in prison. Have you done that yet? And what do you need to know? Not yet, but I want to do it, because I hope that when we\u2019re face to face, he\u2019ll be able to tell me the truth, both about his daughter and about everything else he\u2019s now accused of. Maybe he\u2019ll have some remorse. I\u2019m still holding on to that hope. Maybe I\u2019m na\u00efve, maybe I won\u2019t get an answer. But I hope I\u2019ll be able to get the answers he was unable to provide in front of Avignon\u2019s criminal court. Maybe he\u2019ll say, \u201cI need to free my conscience.\u201d That\u2019s why I want to go.It\u2019s going to be very hard if it happens. Yes, I do think it will be a difficult moment for me. I\u2019ve never set foot inside a prison. I imagine he must be in solitary confinement. I imagine he has changed a lot. But he\u2019s there because he did what he did. It\u2019s not as if he was sent there by accident. But I do hope he\u2019ll have some remorse. If he\u2019s actually capable of it \u2014 and that, I don\u2019t know.There were four years between Monsieur Pelicot\u2019s arrest and the trial. In this period, you ended up moving to a small French island, you made new friends, and you found love again. I think many people would find that incredible, that you could trust a man again. I had never imagined falling in love again, or even that it could be something I would want. To me, it was impossible. We had mutual friends, and one of those friends threw a party, and I met this man who also had a difficult journey, because for 10 years, he took care of his wife, who had a severe illness, and he stayed with her until her dying breath.We talked a lot. We were two battered souls. He didn\u2019t know much about me, hadn\u2019t read a lot about my case in the press, and of course, I was reluctant to tell him about what I went through. It could scare him off, to think, Who really is this woman? And actually, it happened naturally. He had read a piece in Le Monde, and he\u2019s the one who started talking to me about my story. He made me comfortable. Then we started dating, and then we fell in love. We thought, maybe it won\u2019t last. Then, we went to the opera to see \u201cCarmen.\u201d We were two teenagers. I had my first kiss on the day we saw \u201cCarmen,\" and I thought, Yes, maybe there\u2019s something there. He changed my life, he truly did. I trust him fully, because I think he\u2019s a very beautiful soul. You might tell me, \u201cYou also trusted Monsieur Pelicot,\u201d but I don\u2019t think he has that perversion. He didn\u2019t have the same childhood Monsieur Pelicot had. He had a happy childhood, and I know his children, his family and friends, and I think we\u2019re going to do great things together. I think we\u2019ll make the most of these beautiful years we have left, and I hope they\u2019ll last very long.You know, Gis\u00e8le \u2014 can I call you Gis\u00e8le? Yes, of course. \u201cGis\u00e8le\u201d was chanted all over the world. \u201cThank you, Gis\u00e8le.\u201d So of course.AdvertisementSKIP ADVERTISEMENTGis\u00e8le, I am curious. We\u2019ve talked about your mind and how you have, as you say, been able to stay standing all this time. But after everything that you\u2019ve physically gone through, how do you feel about your own body? I was able to heal myself. I go on walks, on bike rides. I\u2019m fortunate to be living on a beautiful island. I feel good in my mind and my body. I\u2019m all right with the age I am now, 73. It\u2019s not easy. You get more and more wrinkles. But I\u2019m all right with them because I\u2019m fortunate to have these wrinkles, which my mother never got to have. That\u2019s important. [She starts to cry.] As you see, I still get emotional when I talk about her. I\u2019m lucky to be alive.Sign up for The Interview Hosts David Marchese and Lulu Garcia-Navarro talk to the world\u2019s most fascinating people. Get it sent to your inbox.This interview has been edited and condensed. Listen to and follow \u201cThe Interview\u201d on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, YouTube, iHeartRadio or Amazon Music. Follow us on Instagram and TikTok.\n \n \n \nLulu Garcia-Navarro is a writer and co-host of The Interview, a series focused on interviewing the world\u2019s most fascinating people.Share full articleRelated ContentAdvertisementSKIP ADVERTISEMENT",
    "ai_headline": "The Interview\u2018They All Tried to Break Me\u2019: Gis\u00e8le Pelicot Shares Her Story",
    "ai_simplified_title": "Gisele Pelicot Shares Story of Abuse and Trial",
    "ai_excerpt": "Gis\u00e8le Pelicot, a survivor of horrific abuse by her husband, shares her story in her first interview with an American media outlet. She discusses the abuse, the trial, and her decision to go public, becoming a feminist icon. The interview covers her life before, during, and after the events.",
    "ai_subject_tags": [
        "Sexual Abuse",
        "Domestic Violence",
        "Trial",
        "Memoir",
        "Feminism",
        "France",
        "Interview",
        "Survivor"
    ],
    "ai_context_type": "Analysis",
    "ai_context_details": {
        "tone": "informative",
        "perspective": "neutral",
        "audience": "general",
        "credibility_indicators": [
            "expert_quotes",
            "first-hand account",
            "detailed reporting"
        ]
    },
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