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David Brooks argues modern love is self-centered, prioritizing personal well-being over selfless giving. He contrasts this with historical views emphasizing self-sacrifice and service to others.
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it is a motivational state \u2014 a desire to be close to and serve another.", "simplified_text": "Love is a motivational state not an emotion love is a desire to serve another", "claim_maker": "David Brooks", "claim_subject_tags": [ "Psychology", "Emotion" ], "confidence": 0.8, "context_type": "Opinion Column", "similarity_found": false, "linked_to": null, "similarity_score": null }, { "uuid": "9fc8a872-4a9c-4e10-9d92-92ddaffceb7b", "text": "In his 1956 book, \u201cThe Art of Loving,\" the psychoanalyst and philosopher Erich Fromm argued that love is not a feeling; it\u2019s a practice, an art form.", "simplified_text": "Erich Fromm argued love is a practice not a feeling in 'The Art of Loving'", "claim_maker": "David Brooks", "claim_subject_tags": [ "History", "Love", "Psychology" ], "confidence": 0.9, "context_type": "Opinion Column", "similarity_found": false, "linked_to": null, "similarity_score": null }, { "uuid": "9fc8a873-3fd1-4cd4-b4c1-a575e45c6a94", "text": "It\u2019s a form of love, for example, to go downstairs and get someone a glass of water in the middle of the night, and it\u2019s a great gift to ask for that water and give the other the opportunity to serve.", "simplified_text": "Getting someone water at night is a form of love asking for water gives opportunity to serve", "claim_maker": "David Brooks", "claim_subject_tags": [ "Psychology", "Relationships" ], "confidence": 0.8, "context_type": "Opinion Column", "similarity_found": false, "linked_to": null, "similarity_score": null }, { "uuid": "9fc8a874-3644-459d-9994-ac1733d4828c", "text": "Look at Instagram, TikTok or the occupant of the White House if you doubt me.", "simplified_text": "Consider Instagram TikTok or the White House occupant", "claim_maker": "David Brooks", "claim_subject_tags": [ "Social Media", "Politics" ], "confidence": 0.7, "context_type": "Opinion Column", "similarity_found": false, "linked_to": null, "similarity_score": null }, { "uuid": "9fc8a875-3561-46c5-b0f5-13235ff472e8", "text": "When the culture encourages people to idolize the needs of the self \u2014 to focus on self-actualization, self-esteem, self-display \u2014 that doesn\u2019t produce strong people but needy, touchy and insecure ones.", "simplified_text": "Culture idolizing self needs produces needy insecure people", "claim_maker": "David Brooks", "claim_subject_tags": [ "Culture", "Psychology" ], "confidence": 0.7, "context_type": "Opinion Column", "similarity_found": false, "linked_to": null, "similarity_score": null }, { "uuid": "9fc8a876-2fcc-4e1e-9ed1-c223589a7ed5", "text": "You have to observe yourself loving others before you can see yourself as lovable and before you genuinely are lovable.", "simplified_text": "Observe yourself loving others before seeing yourself as lovable", "claim_maker": "David Brooks", "claim_subject_tags": [ "Psychology", "Relationships" ], "confidence": 0.7, "context_type": "Opinion Column", "similarity_found": false, "linked_to": null, "similarity_score": null } ], "improved_author": "David Brooks, Opinion Columnist", "suggested_reeval_at": "2026-08-28 00:00:00" } }
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David Brooks Aug. 28, 2025 The Wrong Definition of Love By David Brooks Opinion Columnist The time I used to spend on Twitter I now spend on Substack, and my life is much better for it. There are a lot of interesting, eclectic writers in the world. This week, for example, I stumbled across a post from Antonia Bentel, who asked six strangers and friends about how they fall in love. One woman responded, βI fall in love when someone sees me in a way I didnβt know I could be seen.β A young man answered, βFalling in love is like seeing yourself reflected in someone elseβs mind.β Another woman said, βI fall in love when I donβt feel like Iβm performing competence.β She added that love happens βwhen someone sees you in the absolute mess of it β your pain, your pettiness, your unpaid parking tickets.β Another man replied, βFalling in love is like entering a room you didnβt know existed in your own house.β Bentel makes it clear that this is far from a scientific survey, but what struck m...
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